Here are some of the things you can say, gently, interspersed with long intervals of simple supportive listening, when your toddler hits. Just talk a bit now and then, to let them know you see how hard they are working to get their fears out of their system:. Your child is doing what they were born to do—get rid of stress in a wild but efficient way. The emotional bad dream will be over.
The fear will evaporate—perhaps not all of it, but most likely enough of it that they are able to be happy again, and to have a better day than usual. Staylistening, as we call this way of supportive listening , to your child simplifies your life as a parent. You can trust that your child knows how to treat others well. When they are in their right mind, their rational mind, they will. Your child knows how to be a friend. And by bringing a healthy limit, then Staylistening, you help them to reclaim the chance to be in their right mind, free from leftover feelings of fear.
I went to the park one afternoon with the baby, my toddler son, and his friend. At some point, the friend tried to hit my son when he was on the slide. She arched back and wailed at the top of her lungs. It was a few blocks and I had the baby in a carrier.
I softly told her these things. There was a moment where I tried to give her a little more physical space and she took off running out of the playground towards our home. So I gently gathered her back up, telling her that I couldn't let her go home by herself. The crying, holding and talking went on for quite some time, maybe minutes, ebbing and flowing.
Additionally, I was intermittently attending to my baby and my son, who sat close to me with a concerned look on his face. We were now sitting on a bench and she started to tell me that she wanted to go on the swing. I told her that we had to wait until there were two swings available, for both toddlers, and she started to wail again.
This ebbed and flowed a few times. Finally, I felt like we could at least wander over to the swings, and as we got there, the other kid left so she and my son went on the swings together, with me pushing. When it was time to go home, I asked them if they wanted me to stop the swing for them, or just let it stop by itself. Kids will grow out of it if they get help skills training instead of a model of violence hitting back.
Children can learn that it is not okay to hurt others. Their feelings are not bad and they are not bad people, and they can get help to find actions that are respectful to themselves and to others. They can learn that what they do doesn't define who they are. They are not a bad child because they hit, but the behavior is unacceptable.
Grandma had the opportunity to take care of her month-old granddaughter for a week while her parents were on vacation. Sage was developing the habit of hitting when she felt frustrated or, it seemed, just for the fun of it. She would hit her grandma and the dog — sometimes for no apparent reason at all. Grandma watched closely for the hitting to start and would gently grab Sage's hand and say, "Touch nicely," while guiding her hand to gently stroke her grandma's cheek or the dog.
Soon Sage would start to hit, but would first look at her grandma who would say, "Touch nicely. Within a few days, Sage was touching nicely instead of hitting. It is much more effective to show children what they can do instead of telling them what not to do. He: There are times when it is necessary to spank my children to teach them important lessons. For example, I spank my two-year-old to teach her not to run into the street.
She: After you have spanked your two-year-old to teach her not to run in the street, will you let her play unsupervised by a busy street? She: Why not? If the spanking teaches her not to run into the street, why can't she play unsupervised by the street? You might pretend to be another child who has taken your toddler's favorite toy. Teach him how to use his words "That's my toy—please give it back" , and if that doesn't work, tell him he should ask an adult for help.
Act out these scenes often so that the lessons sink in. Implement a distraction. You can ease tension by introducing another toy or game. If kids are fighting over a toy , give it a minute to see whether they can resolve the conflict on their own.
But when it looks like it's going to escalate into hitting, say: "If you can't take turns, I have to take the truck away. By making him give it back, you're letting him know that being rough won't get him what he wants.
Monitor his media consumption. It's important to monitor everything your child watches —even cartoons—to make sure the programs don't contain any violence.
Researchers have found that children who are exposed to violent images in the media are more likely to be aggressive themselves.
Even if you believe that spanking is appropriate discipline for an older child, you should never spank a 1-year-old. Remember that there's no malicious intent when a toddler hits. Your little one means well—she just needs to learn better ways to express her needs and wants, which will happen in time. How to Stop a Toddler from Hitting. By Megan Mattes, Karen J. Save Pin FB More. Parents Magazine. Bannan, Denise Schipani, and Marietta Brill.
When you find yourself changing your reaction based on your environment or peers, step back to re-evaluate your parenting values through self- reflection or conversation with your partner. As with many toddler behaviors, the real problem may not be the behavior itself, but how the child is feeling otherwise.
Are they teething? Did they get enough sleep or is it approaching nap time? Have they had nutritionally sound meals and snacks at frequent enough intervals today, or could they be hungry when they are hitting? Are they frustrated about something else, which could contribute to them lashing out by hitting? Allow your child to engage in physical activities like banging on a drum, stomping their feet, running around, jumping, playing on playgrounds, and anything else that will help them move.
What if you, your parents, and your babysitter are all treating the hitting behavior in three different ways?
Maybe the babysitter is using different verbiage than you when discussing emotions with the child. The terrible twos can start before your child is 2 years old, and they can extend well into their third year. Find out what to expect and why the….
When your toddler won't eat, it can be very frustrating — but it's usually quite normal. We'll give you some tips and tell you when it might be time…. Here's a list of kid-friendly snacks that are healthy and…. Though vaccines for younger children are now available, they may not be fully protected in time for holiday celebrations this year.
Here are ways you…. Experts say there a number of ways to reduce children's screen time as the COVID pandemic subsides. They suggest outside activities and timers.
0コメント